just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
