I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
