You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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