Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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