I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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