ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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