I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
