i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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