I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
