I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
