how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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