I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
