then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize