I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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