Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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