this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
