hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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