I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
