She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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