im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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