We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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