Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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