i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize