if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
