And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm gonna fight the coyote
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize