yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
