How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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