He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
