Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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