Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
