I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize