VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
