I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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