My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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