His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
