But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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