Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
