every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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