you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He passed out mid-signature
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
