Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
