so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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