that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
