we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
