I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
