i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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