WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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