he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
