Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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