I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
