i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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