I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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