if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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