When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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