I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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