she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
