My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
