I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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