I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
