My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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