She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
