After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
