I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
