I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
