i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
